How to build a welcoming youth ministry in the relaunch
Work towards building a permeable community in your youth ministry to help all members feel welcome.
There is a flurry of excitement and anticipation as doors open for church youth and children’s ministry groups to start meeting together again. It has felt like an eternity since we were prevented from meeting face-to-face but for the first time in months, we can now gather in smaller ministry groups— with social distancing measures in place of course!
We’ve all been yearning to connect with our brothers and sisters in Christ without a screen separating us from one another, so as we see each other in person it’s naturally going to be a time of celebration and renewal of relationships.
During our time doing ministry online, most groups have managed to stay connected with a good percentage of their core kids. But around half of our groups have either seen their numbers drop to 60% or less of their normal size and some are unsure of who is even attending. Most of these losses will be young people who are ‘on the fringe,’ so as we relaunch, our deep hope is that youth will reconnect with us again. But it’s going to take a lot of intentional action to get them back.
For those on the fringe, I imagine that coming back to our groups will feel a lot like going to a friend’s family shindig— it’ll be both good and awkward at the same time. You’re happy to be there celebrating with your friend in their setting, and although you may have some form of relationship with some people there, there are also plenty of people you don’t really know. It’s obvious they have a special family bond and you don’t yet fit into it. Though you want to celebrate with them, you can’t help but feel you’re the odd one out.
Related
The door is open to physical gatherings
As physical gathering restrictions are relaxed, plan to safely gather and celebrate while launching new and refreshed ministries with young people.
Young people are often very aware of the differences between themselves and those who feel like they belong. Often the main difference can be attributed to their worldview not (yet) lining up with that of the core culture of the group. In order to overcome this awkwardness, David Plant suggests that ministry leaders seek to create a “permeable community.” A community which “anticipates and encourages friendships among those with various worldviews… [by providing] a shared space where meaningful conversation around the gospel and human experience can be held.” [1]
As you relaunch your face-to-face programs, here are two ways that you can work towards building a permeable community in your ministries.
Focus your celebration on what God is doing
When celebrations are focused on your own feelings and experiences, they can become subjective and potentially inaccessible. An example of this is when your football team wins the grand-final— not everyone has the same inclination as you do to celebrate your teams’ victory! But when you focus your celebration on the Lord and what he has done, your celebration becomes open for all kinds of people to participate in it because the focus is on an objective reality rather than a subjective experience.
This is in scripture too, as Psalm 95:1-7 shows us that God’s people are to celebrate what the Lord has done and is doing for his people, rather than focusing on their own ability to overcome. For Christians, this becomes a proclamation of the gospel, as we rejoice in the good news about how God is working in the world and interpret it through the lens of the cross. This kind of celebratory proclamation is an open invitation welcoming the person on the fringe to join the party!
As your ministries start, consider how your celebratory activities will facilitate authentic relational interaction between all people attending the program. Here are a few ideas:
Give others the opportunity to share how God has been at work in their lives.
Interview leaders and members about what God has taught them through social isolation.
Spend time in prayer and praising God together.
Avoid Christian tribalism
Young Christians are often accused of developing cliques which inadvertently exclude those on the outside and make it harder for people on the fringe to feel a part of the community. David Plant urges Christian ministry group leaders to:
“reject our own tribal tendencies; we are called to anticipate and encourage friendships with people who have differing worldviews within shared spaces. To be sure, these permeable communities won’t happen through programs but by youth communities that live out their faith in diverse, authentic friendships.”
In order to achieve a truly permeable community which welcomes all youth into the core of the community, ministry leaders need to facilitate authentic relational interactions between all members of their groups.
As you relaunch face-to-face ministry over the coming weeks work against Christian tribalism. Here are a few ways you can get started:
Talk directly to core members about who they can be intentionally caring for and welcoming. Ask them to pray regularly for them and look for ways to include them.
Gear your activities towards growing relationships with various people through meaningful conversation and shared experience.
Be proactive in identifying the people on the fringe of your community and invite them back into the community in a meaningful way.
When I was 14, I had been at the fringe of my youth group for months. I’d been building friendships and even started to make it a priority to be there every Friday night. It was such a genuinely loving community that I wanted more of but the idea of crossing the gap from Friday nights to Sunday church by myself was a scary notion— I wasn’t sure I’d be welcome there.
All it took was a single invite from a leader and a mate. When they invited me, suddenly it took away any apprehension I’d felt because I knew I would be welcome! This invite from people I had even a small relationship with made it a hundred times easier for me to rock up that Sunday night. Sure, to begin with it felt like that awkward family shindig, but that quickly changed because the great thing about Christian community is that it is a wonderfully attractive thing for those who are yearning for meaning and belonging.
As Plant points out, “truly Christian communities have always been porous ones, where diverse people have easy entrance and access.” Often, all it takes is warm and genuine invitation from someone at the core for those on the fringe to feel welcome and that they belong.
[1] Plant, D 2016, ‘A Public Faith: Evangelism in Youth Ministry’, in C Cole (ed.)., Gospel-Centered Youth Ministry: A Practical Guide, Crossway.