Caring For Children As We Return

It’s no exaggeration to say my youngest son has had a tumultuous beginning to his schooling journey. As a year 1 student in 2021, he has had both of his school years marred by COVID-disruptions. I write this on the Tuesday of his second week back at face-to-face school and already we’ve had tears and a plea to daddy asking for him to be his “forever teacher”.

As a teacher-trained mum, I’m choosing not to take that one personally!

As hard as this morning was, it made me reflect on how we can be supporting young ones and their families as we approach post-COVID re-entry into our churches.

Here are some ideas I’ve had for Children’s ministry team members to support parents and children.

1.      Pre-poll parents

In the next week, make part of your re-entry strategy to touch base with church families and see how they are going. As another article noted, your phone calls are so helpful for parents at this time. The purpose is to see what the parents think about how their children will go returning to kids’ church. A good (but not perfect) barometer would be to ask how their children have adjusted back to school. Another question would be to ask how their children have been processing COVID and if it has caused anxiety for them. Another question would be to simply ask,

“What can we be doing to help your child/ren feel safe and comfortable as we return to face-to-face kids’ church?”

If you notice a child has chosen not to go to kids’ church and has instead stayed in the service with their parents, take the time to chat to them afterwards and chat to their parents (either at church or later in the week on the phone) to see how you can work together to support their child at this time.

2.      Prepare for tears – and other unexpected emotions.

In the last week or so, I have noticed a marked increase in the “big emotions” expressed by both of my sons. Sometimes, the triggers are predictable,

“Do I really have to do homework? I’m soooooo tired!”

Others are completely random,

“Mummy, why are you so bad at totem tennis?”

It’s safe to say the same will happen at kids’ church. Some children might find it hard to be separated from their parents when the program starts. Others might not be as resilient as they were previously. Consider how long it’s been since they’ve played any games with more than their siblings as participants.

Another thing to note is that children you think you know well might not behave in ways you would expect. Take my Mr. 6 – to call him an “extreme extrovert” is an understatement. I often joke to my husband that “his people tank is never full”. But just this weekend, when he had the opportunity to play with other kids on the Church lawn while we had a picnic, he steadfastly refused to leave my side and ended up carrying around an oversized teddy bear as his protection.

3.      Create an environment of calm and safety

Everyone who knows me, knows I’m loud. When I was training as a teacher, my university mentor said, “Your volume will set the volume for your classroom” – and it’s true! Usually, that’s an asset – my students in SRE classes or in kids’ church WILL hear what I’m teaching them about Jesus. But at this time, there is something to be said about moderation.

Similarly, what we want to communicate to the young ones in our care in kids’ church is that they are safe. This may mean I need to think of other strategies instead of me standing up the front with my loud voice cutting through the chatter by sheer force. Perhaps I can use the leadership team to settle the children in their vicinity. Or maybe I could borrow a technique from the Primary School classroom and settle the kids with a “waterfall” (where you use your fingers to act out falling water and make a shushing sound at the same time), or even the good-old-fashioned “hands on your head”.

The environment of calm can also spread to the games you choose to play or activities you choose to do. Perhaps the first week back at kids’ church isn’t the time to play a highly physical game like Fruit Salad, Captain’s Coming, or Rob the Nest. Instead, think of games that will not spike children’s anxiety levels like “sit down if” (where you make a statement like “sit down if you’re wearing red” and the last one standing wins) or musical statues (with calm music rather than high-octane beats!).

4.      Enjoy reconnecting!

We know that God’s word is best taught in the context of relationship, so encourage your teams to make the most of every opportunity to reconnect with the kids in your group as individuals. If you haven’t already, it might be worth assigning different leaders to different age groups and to spend some time in small group discussions (for older kids) or in deliberate conversation over craft (for the younger kids). As they reconnect with their leaders, they will feel more safe, more cared for, and keen to return each week.

I hope and pray that the young ones in your care adjust well to post-COVID church, and that God gives you the wisdom you need to lead them well.