Please Call Me. A Letter From a Parent to Children’s Ministers.

Let it never be said that Children’s Ministers lack creativity. And during this latest lockdown, there have been so many creative ideas shared among Children’s ministers in the diocese (and beyond) to reach children and families with God’s word. We’ve seen puppets and prize boxes, care packs and colouring in, zoom gatherings and TV-quality productions. It’s been amazing.

But one parent reached out to me recently with a much more simple request which I suspect will have more fruit than any prize box ever will. I have permission to share her words.

I love all that my church has been doing to support families at this time, but there’s one thing I’d personally really love right now: I’d love someone to give me a phone call.

I’d love someone to ask how I’m coping with homeschooling – because some days I’m not – and my children and I have had to pull the pin early on multiple occasions.

I’d love someone to ask how my children are coping with school on zoom – because all of my children find it hard seeing their friends through a screen and not in the playground.

I’d love someone to ask what I’m worried about at the moment – because even though I know all the verses about worry, I still can’t stop myself wondering if and when we will return to ’normal’ – for school, for work, and especially for church.

I’d love someone else to talk to my children – because I’m sure they’re sick of hearing my voice at this point.

I’d love someone to ask how they can pray for me – and then, for them to pray with me, then and there over the phone.

I’d love to hear another voice, even if it’s just for 5 minutes on the phone, the remind me that I’m not alone in this, and even though the body of Christ is scattered at the moment, we’re still a body.

I suspect this parent isn’t alone.

Phone calls can be daunting – especially if you’re a little younger than me and didn’t grow up in the pre-texting era when chatting on landlines to your friends was the best way to socialise after school. Calling anyone can be daunting, but calling parents can be especially daunting for a children’s minister who isn’t quite sure what to say.

Here are five suggestions that may help (these have been adapted from a training paper that was recently shared in a Sydney Youth Ministry Facebook group).

1.     Smile!

It may seem strange but smiling actually changes the way our vocal cords move and makes our voice sound warmer and friendlier. So smile, even if you feel unsure and it doesn’t come naturally.

2.    Use names

Introduce yourself by name and refer to the children by names. If you’re nervous it might help to have the names of everyone in the family written down in front of you. If you’re calling a parent you’ve never met before ask how best to address to them (“Would you like me to call you Mrs Smith?”) and write that down too. Writing it down will help you remember next time you call.  

3.    Ask questions

Your first question should be “is now a good time to chat?”, this allows the parent to be honest and they may ask you call back later (you never know if you’ve called in the middle of a child’s meltdown!).

There are a few topics you might want to cover. Pick two or three questions and have them written down in front of you. Some suggestions might be:

For parents:

·       How are you going this week? Is this week better or worse than last week? Why?

·       How are (children’s name) coping with home schooling? What do they enjoy? What are they struggling with?

·       What have you and your family learned about God during lockdown?

·       How can I pray for you and your family?

For kids:

·       What has been your favourite thing to do in lockdown?

·       What has been your favourite game in Kids’ church zoom?

·       What have you learned from the Bible lately?

4.     Stick to time

You don’t have to talk for hours! If you talk to parents you’ll find you’ll be able to chat longer than to the kids, but that’s ok – you still don’t need to take more than 15 minutes to encourage the people you’re talking to.

It’s also okay if your phone call ends up being only a few minutes long. The fact that you’ve called will be an encouragement.

5.     Pray

Depending on the call you may decide to pray then and there over the phone. If you’ve never prayed with someone over the phone before that might seem like an awkward thing to do. I encourage you to give it a go anyway. Even if it feels a little strange, praying with others is a great thing to do.

If you don’t pray on the phone be sure to let them know that you know that you’ll be praying for them, and make sure you do. A good habit to get into is to pray for them as soon as you’re off the phone.

Once you’ve made your first few calls, you can also get your children’s ministry team involved in making phone calls. If you and your teams can make the time to each call two or three families a week, who knows how much relationship building and support you’ll be able to achieve?