Take one more step: how to parent in a crisis
Peter Morris (pictured ) shares why it’s important to “take one more step” and move forward in faith when life is uncertain
Two years ago, I was you. I was a ministry leader who had spent the early new year planning for the year ahead. I had thoughtfully and prayerfully identified priorities for the year. I was excited to get started. This was going to be a great year!
Two years ago, I was a parent in your church. I had started work for the year. I thought I knew what my kids were doing for school. We’d even spent some time as a family dreaming about the things we might do and the places we might go together.
Then, a health crisis struck. It wasn’t a global pandemic. But it changed things just as quickly. In a matter of weeks, my healthy three-year-old boy was transformed into a cancer patient. All our dreams for the year changed in an instant. We didn’t even know when or if we could go home again.
What followed was a months-long journey that changed our lives forever. A healthy family with four kids was suddenly obsessed with handwashing. Minor coughs or sneezes that wouldn’t have been given a moment’s thought the year before were now existential threats.
As my son’s immune system was decimated by his treatment, our kids spent weeks away from regular school because of the life-threatening nature of minor infections. All told, in just six months my son spent 96 nights in hospital.
What the Lord taught us through that time was that life is precious. We knew that, theoretically, before my son’s cancer diagnosis. But God used the crisis to bring that reality into stark relief.
In the craziness of the early days in ICU, God helped my wife and me to define a new family value: “Take one more step”. We didn’t know what was coming in weeks, or months or even hours. But we could take the next step in faith.
We also learned to pay attention to the callings God had placed on our life. Work was different. We were separated from our church and ministry relationships by thousands of kilometres, but God had called us to live faithfully.
As a husband, I was to love my wife as Christ loved the church (Ephesians 5:25). As a dad, I was to bring up my kids in the training and instruction of the Lord (Ephesians 6:4). I could still engage with colleagues and friends using technology. And I had a brand-new mission field as I encountered other families who were adjusting to the “new normal” of a sick child.
Two years ago, I thought my journey was unique. I felt alone. I felt scared. I didn’t know what to do. Today, especially in light of the current global public health crisis, I see even more clearly that my journey was a very human one. To be 40-years-old and have experienced an unexpected life event that disrupts my plans for the future is just a long way of saying, “I’m 40-years-old.”
What that means for you right now—and the parents in your church—is that we can take one more step. Don’t get too wrapped up in where things will be in a month or a few months’ time. Just prayerfully seek the next step and move forward in faith.
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You also have the opportunity to invest in the primary callings in your life. If you’re married or have kids, in the midst of many unknowns you know what God has called you to do. Show your spouse, your family the truth and beauty of the gospel. Prayerfully consider your new mission field. Technology will offer opportunities to deepen existing relationships and there will likely be new opportunities too.
Today, our son is in remission. If you didn’t know our story, you wouldn’t ever guess that he is at increased risk from COVID-19 if you saw him at church or at the shops. Our family is currently self-isolating to protect our son and to help flatten the curve of new infections.
Families like ours need church leaders and parents to take this virus seriously and act in love. Think about ways you can show love to your neighbours: offer to take them groceries or go donate blood.
I am convinced that this is a moment we’ll remember for the rest of our lives. So will our kids. Each time we take a step in love we will be surprised at the opportunities to point people to the hope of the gospel.
Peter Morris serves as a ministry leader with ReachGlobal, focused on family discipleship and multicultural church planting. He led family ministries at Ambassador Bible Church in Washington DC before serving as a missionary in Costa Rica.