Keys to an effective small group: making sure your group reaches its full potential

Effective techniques that build relational trust and generates meaningful discussion in small groups

The majority of youth groups that I have visited in my time as a youth ministry advisor have had small groups as a regular and primary part of their gathering. This is great because it is a crucial time where young people can connect with God and each other on a deeper level. It is a place where faith can develop and strengthen.  Therefore, it is important that they are executed well.

My observation, however, has been that small groups don’t always function to their best potential. One of the reasons for this is that often leaders come to youth group under-prepared for the task of effectively helping young people connect with God’s word and applying it in their lives in a meaningful way.

Small groups are such a staple part of youth ministry. They can provide the opportunity for young people to grapple with faith in an active, intimate and personally tailored way. We need to ensure that we invest deeply in the quality of our small groups so they are executed in a way that will have a real and meaningful impact on young people for the rest of their lives.

So how do you ensure that your small groups have the most positive effect possible for those involved?

Here are 4 keys to running an effective small group:

1. Preparation

Probably the biggest factor hampering the effectiveness of small groups in youth ministry is a lack of preparation. When a leader is not sufficiently prepared to actively lead the group, they are settling for the least effective outcome the group can have. It is always better for leaders to come to the discussion with a few formulated thoughts, rather than merely improvising answers on the spot. Even when it seems that the group went well enough without any real prep, the truth is that it would have been far better if the leader had prepared.

To enable leaders to prepare well, they must be provided with discussion material at least a week in advance, so they have enough time to familiarise themselves with the content and think through how they tailor it to their particular group. This can really make the difference with the curly questions that young people often ask— it’s the difference between an astute answer to a hard question, and a fumbled, un-thought-though response in the moment.

Receiving the discussion questions as they arrive at youth group is not sufficient. For less experienced leaders, they will also need guidance on how to prepare and adapt material for their group effectively.

How much preparation goes into your small groups? How do leaders tailor the material to their groups?

2. Intentionality

Every small group leader I have ever observed has the greatest of intentions for young people to grow as disciples of Christ. The problem is that intentions don’t always turn into actions, and intentions without action have very little impact and result in a lack of effective ministry. What is needed is intentionality.

Intention = passively hoping for something

Intentionality = actively working towards something

For example, often small group leaders intend to devote a significant amount of time to praying for one another in their group.

The reality, however, ends up being that week after week the group runs out of time to invest in  meaningful prayer and simply end up doing the classic ‘blanket prayer’— “Dear God, thanks for your word… help us to follow it this week… Amen!” It’s a good thing to pray, but it lacks depth.

This problem arises because of a lack of intentionality. Unless a leader actively work towards achieving their goal, things will never change.

So if you intend to devote a significant amount of time to pray in your group, then try making a time plan and sticking to it. Or set an alarm on your phone to tell you to stop and pray at a particular time. Or why not move the prayer time to the beginning so that you invest in it first?

This is just one example of what it means to show real intentionality. When it comes to running small groups, the leaders who shows intentionality have more effective groups by far.

What intentions do you have for your group? What actions can you implement this week to actively work towards making them happen?

3. Relational Trust

Have you been in one of those super awkward small groups where every question is followed by a tense, lingering silence?

Sometimes the leader fills the silence themselves with their own musings while the participants scroll through Snapchat behind their bibles.

These awkward small groups exist when there is little or no relational trust within the group. 

Where there’s low trust, young people will only be willing to contribute superficially at best— and often not at all. On the other hand, when there is a high level of relational trust, members are willing to open up and contribute to meaningful discussion.

Relational trust takes time to develops and requires deliberate investment from the leaders of the group. Such investment is seen when leaders are willing to:

• dedicate time, energy, and even their own resources into increasing relational trust in the group

• listen with empathy and encouragement as young people share their thoughts, and share pieces of their own story with the group

• pursue genuine relationship with the members outside the small group setting

Building relational trust requires investment. But it is an investment with a great payoff.

How will you as the leader work to build the level of trust in your group?

4. Facilitating meaningful discussion rather than simply asking questions

So often small group leaders lead like they are playing tennis. They serve up a question to the group, only to have it answered, probably by one kid who seems to know all the right answers, and the ball is hit right back into their court.

The “discussion” becomes a long string of question-answer, question-answer, with the rest of the group swinging their heads back and forward between the two players like spectators at a tennis match.

The aim of a small group is for members to go on a journey to learn and discover truths together and how they apply to life.

This happens most effectively as leaders facilitate meaningful discussion amongst all members of the group rather than simply getting to the ‘right answer’.

Some helpful techniques to facilitate this kind of meaningful discussion are:

• Draw out more discussion by asking follow-up questions like “What do others think?” or “What else can we add to that?”

• Don’t settle for a superficial answer, dig deeper by asking “What makes you say that?” or “Can you tell us a bit more about what you’re thinking?”

• Even when someone provides the right answer, push them to be sure! Prompt conflict by asking “Is that really true?”, “Who would agree with that?”

• Ask for an illustration such as “Paint a picture of that idea” or “Where have you seen that in life?”

• When asked a question, don’t give an answer straight away. You also don’t need to answer every question. Especially for senior youth, it can be beneficial to let them feel the tension of an unanswered question. It drives them to figure it out what they think for themselves. A technique that could be used when asked a question is, “Before I give you my answer, what do you think the answer to your question is?”

The Golden Rule in facilitating meaningful discussion is— Never answer your own question. It can be hard when there is silence but remember the silence won’t kill you!

Which technique can you work on to become a better facilitator of meaningful discussion?

Leading small groups is an art more than a science. But leaders work towards a more effective small group when they prepare well, show intentionality, build relational trust in their groups and aim to facilitate meaningful discussion rather than simply answering questions.