How to have helpful and safe calls with kids
Be intentional and connect with the kids from your church and kids club while prioritising safe ministry.
For the last few weeks, instead of my weekly visit to see nieces and nephews I’ve been making weekly FaceTime calls to them.
I love that video calls allow me to see their faces and they can see mine. I get to see the joy in my two-year-old niece’s face as she see me on the screen. I can share a joke with my 10-year-old nephew and see him laugh. It isn’t as good as being with them but it’s better than a phone call.
As much as I look forward to this time, sometimes it doesn’t last more than a few minutes. It’s hard for young children to engage in conversation for long periods and it’s not quite the same as being face to face - it’s so easy for them to get distracted. If I happen to FaceTime my nephew while he’s in the middle of building Lego, nothing is going to drag him away from what he is creating! But no matter how long or short the call is I’m convinced it’s a good thing to do, for them and for me.
Related
How to use technology safely in children’s ministry
Planning is key to ensure you are using technology safely
Calling or video calling children is quite different to calling adults. In this time of ministry at a distance, it can be a helpful way to stay connected with children and families at church. Keeping in mind that we need to ensure this is done in a safe way for all involved, here are some tips for video calls with children.
Text parents first
Whether you do it by text or email, the starting point is to communicate with parents. Set up clear expectations about what will happen, including explaining about why you want to speak with their child.
What do you want kids to get out of this? You may want to take the opportunity to pray with them. You might want to simply show you care about how they are going. You may want to give them the chance to see their leader’s faces. Whatever is it, make sure you know why you are doing it and that both parents and leaders are clear about this.
It is wise to also pre-arrange a time with parents. Make sure it’s convenient for them and that they will able to be in the room with their children while you talk to them. Then make the call to the parent’s phone.
Use video or speaker phone
This is an easy way to make sure that the parents know what’s being said. The more transparent you can make the call, the better for all involved.
This is also a great way to pastorally care not only for children but for families as a whole. Take advantage of the opportunity to speak to multiple children and also to parents. Check in with parents and ask how they are going. Why not pray with and for them at the same time?
Avoid awkward silences… or use them well
Even with adults, video calls can be full of awkward silences that are part internet delay and part not knowing what to say. Having some questions ready to go will help avoid those awkward silences. You might want to tailor your questions specifically for the children you are talking to but here’s three questions you could start with:
What’s the most fun thing you’ve done today?
What do you miss about being at school/church/sport etc.?
What have you read in the Bible this week?
As you get more comfortable with video calls you can learn to use the silence to allow the child to set the tone or topic that you talk about. I have a friend whose daughter video calls me about once a week. She’s an extrovert in a family of introverts so she just wants the opportunity to talk to someone! I don’t have anything planned to talk about. I simply let her move us from topic to topic. Occasionally we have an awkward silence but I’ve learnt to be okay with that.
It's okay if they don't want to talk
Not every child will want to talk. It’s not because they don’t like you or don’t care. It might be because this is a weird time for all of us and one more thing that is different might be one thing too much. It may simply be because they don’t like to talk or they might be expecting you to be the one who drives the conversation.
If they are willing to get on a video call and have a short conversation, that’s great. If they say they don’t want to talk at all, that’s okay too. Don’t take it personally. The fact that you reached out means they know that you care about them and that you’re praying for them. This is still valuable. Maybe you can send a letter to them instead.
It doesn't have to be long, a few minutes is okay
Even with the kids in my family video calls are usually pretty short. We’re all becoming more experienced with online catch ups and the feeling of exhaustion that comes along with it. Trying to stay engaged can be hard work and some children won’t stick with it for long. If your purpose is to stay connected you can do that even in a call that only lasts a few minutes.
Now is a time to be intentional about the way we stay connected to one another. At times it can feel like hard work. But this is one way we can keep it simple. How can you use video calls in your ministry this week?
