How to get to know a young person with disability

20/02/2023

It’s Sunday morning. You’ve got your run sheet prepared, and all your activities, crafts, games, and Bible teaching sorted. You’re feeling good about how the morning will go and you can envision everything falling into place. A new family has arrived at church – fantastic!

In the family is a young person who seems very energetic and not quite taking instruction from their parents. This person is now in your group and you have been informed that they are on the Autism Spectrum, and you’re a bit nervous how the morning will now go. Instead of sitting still, they run around the room, they’re disinterested in craft and make minimal effort to attempt completing it. They constantly call out and not respond to your instruction. The other young people in the group are making negative comments and some of them are now becoming disruptive, and you’re now feeling overwhelmed that the morning is not quite going as planned.

In Children’s and Youth ministry, you may often be meeting new young people who come along to the various ministries. Sometimes it’s easy to get to know a newcomer – they’ve either come with a friend whom you already know pretty well, or they’re keen to get involved and you can organically observe how they’re interacting and communicating. They might even be confident to share a bit about themselves when you talk with them.

When a young person who has a disability comes along, it might be trickier to get to know them for a whole range of reasons. In Luke 14:15-24 we read that all people are invited to be a part of God’s forever Kingdom. In fact, it is emphasised that those with a disability are to be sought out and brought into the Great Banquet.

Here are some tips that may help in your ministry context as you get to know the young people with disability in your ministries and welcome them as people invited into God’s Kingdom.

 Ask the parents/caregivers:

Your best source of information of the young person is to ask those who are in their lives the most. Spend some time with their caregiver to ask what their likes and dislikes are and how best to interact and engage with them. They might tell you what helps them to participate in a group, or what things they like to listen to, watch, or play with, so that you can connect them. Getting to know what a young person enjoys is helpful for building up relationship and creating a welcoming environment. Getting to know what they dislike is also helpful for knowing why they won’t engage or why they are potentially struggling in the group.

Observe them:

Take note of what their loves and interests are by what they wear, what they talk about, and what they might bring with them. If a child brings a backpack full of cars to Kids Church, you might conclude that they love cars. If a teenager comes in wearing Marvel shirts and hats, it is quite likely that they love watching Marvel movies. Maybe a child arrives with all things Paw Patrol and that’s all they speak about, and you can tell that’s what they love. Those things that you can see and hear about are a great way to initiate conversation or to even have relevant supplies on hand – such as toys, or even things like bandaids and appropriate music to play where relevant.

As you observe a young person in the ministry environment, also take note of how they are responding with other people, how they manage with food and drink, and how they react to sounds and lights so that you can offer assistance, encourage buddies and friendships, or to adapt how the program runs.

 Try different methods:

Have a few options to try out to see what the young person connects with. If they are not naturally joining in on singing and doing the actions, try giving them a musical instrument or a microphone to interact with. If they’re not able to comfortably sit through teaching time without being distracted, try giving them a small sensory toy to fidget with. If some games or activities are too distressing for a young person, then you may like to consider alternative things to do or have options to choose from. Every child is different and there isn’t really a ‘one size fits all’ rule, but typically people who have Downs Syndrome love and engage well with music and singing. Someone on the spectrum tends to need structure and to know what the plans and expectations are and will tend to have a core interest in something – be it cars, tech, sci-fi, etc. Someone with cerebral palsy may need some steps of a craft completed if fine motor skills are tricky to work with.

 Make them feel welcome:

If a young person with a disability comes along for the first time, or even if they’ve been there a long time, continue to foster a culture of welcoming and inclusion. Perhaps you can show them and the family around the ministry space, point out how things operate in the location you’ll be in and what they have freedom to do; such as being able to move around and where and what craft materials they can help themselves. You can also show them when, or where some helpful resources are like the toilets, suitable Bibles, or fidget and sensory toys.  Encourage everyone in the group to have patience and compassion with one another and to respond with grace and kindness as the young person with a disability becomes acquainted with the group or congregation. It may be helpful to announce to the congregation that everyone is welcome and not to worry if there are noises being made or shuffling about. You may like to teach other young people about helping out those who need a bit of assistance or a buddy, and you may need to assure families and care givers that this young person is welcome and encouraged to be part of the group. A young person with a disability might say or do things that may seem out of context to the familiar flow of the group. A first instinct may be to respond with mocking and exclusion, but remind young people of the joy of Christian community and that the Bible calls us to love one another.

It’s Sunday morning. You’ve got your run sheet prepared, and all your activities, crafts, games, and Bible teaching sorted and ready. A young person with a disability comes into your group and you have invited them to come join in. A couple of other young people in the group make room for the new person and share what is currently happening. The young person is distracted during teaching time, but you have space behind the group for them to move around or to pick a fidget toy. They’re not responsive to the craft, but you have other activities on hand that helps engage them. The parents ask how things went and you share how excited you are to have them there and ask them if there are crafts they might like. Things might not have gone as envisioned, but everyone there was part of the group and heard more about God’s love for them.

Getting to know a young person with a disability, interacting with caregivers and the rest of the family, shows that you’re creating a welcoming space for that person and communicating that they’re not only welcome to be present, but they are valued, loved and even needed in the church and ministries. Friendships in the community are also enabled, and they can hear of God’s love for them and to know God as their saviour.